Akatsuki Issues
by Neko-Chan NyaNya
Summary: Just because they're a group of weird and insanely strong shinobi, doesn't mean the members of the Akatsuki aren't human and humans have problems right. Well so do the Akatsuki. Here are some problems or issues that they go through.


**A/N:** I've been meaning to make this for a while. This little series of one-shots just popped in my head so here I am. I know that I should be working on my other story "Good Things Can Happen" but dammit I have writers block. Who ever invented writers block sucks. Well here are some issues I think the Akatsuki go through, I hope that you find them interesting. ^. .^

**Disclaimer:** She doesn't fucking own the characters in Naruto - Hidan

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Itachi and Kisame returned to the Akatsuki hideout after capturing and extracting a tailed beast. They entered seeing that the other members were already sitting around while trying to regain their energy. The shark man sat against the rock wall of the hideout, Itachi sat on the couch - that looked old and beaten up - with Tobi and Sasori. Itachi rested against the old couch and let out a quiet sigh.

The members rested in silence until Tobi couldn't take it anymore because Tobi and silence never go together. He sat up from his spot by Deidara and went by the couch next to Itachi. "Oi, Tachi?" He asked behind his mask.

The Uchiha opened up one eye half way, giving a glare only members of the Uchiha clan could give in the process. Tobi moved a few steps back from the man. "heh...heh...don't be like that Tachi, I just wanted to ask you something."

Itachi opened both eyes which were still half open. "Tobi if this is another stupid 'why do I have these lines on my face' question, I will use my tsukuyomi that will make your head go in Deidara's ass." He warned.

"You do that Itachi and I'll blow everyone up with C3." Deidara said as he looked at his moving mouth hands. "No Tachi, it's not that. I wanted to know why people call you 'weasel'?" Tobi aksed. A dark aura began to form around Itachi.

"Well Tobi, maybe it's because Itachi means weasel." Zetsu's light half answered. The Uchiha began to silently shake from his spot on the couch with the dark aura still surrounding him.

"Really I thought that-"

Itachi completely opened his eyes with the mangenkyo sharingan present in both of them. "Do you want to know why they call me...a weasel?" He asked everyone darkly. Everyone turned their attention to the Uchiha. "Ooh ooh story time, tell us Tachi tell us." Tobi sat down in front of the couch.

"Fine." He said with the aura still around him.

**Flashback (Before Itachi became an Akatsuki and the massacre of his clan)**

"Nii-san, Nii-san let's play this." Sasuke said as he tugged his older brother to a kingyo sukui stand (1). "Okay Sasuke." Itachi agreed as he allowed himself to be guided by his little brother.

The Uchihas were currently at Konaha's summer festival. Fugaku and Mikoto decided to take a walk around the area and allowed their sons to enjoy the festivities. The brothers watched as a little girl and her big sister try to catch an orange fish but the paper net broke, the fish falling back in the water in the process.

"Maybe next time Mia." The big sister told her little sister. They began to walk away until Itachi stopped them. "Hold on." He turned to the stand owner and payed for a net. He crouched down to the tank with the fish and quickly and swiftly picked one up, dropping it into the plastic bag before the net popped open.

He handed the now bagged fish to the girls and they gave a happy thank-you before walking away. "Nii-san, bet you can't do that again." Sasuke challenged with a grin. Itachi poked Sasuke in the forehead with two fingers before asking for another net. The same outcome happened as Itachi quickly and swiftly caught another fish. He handed the bag to Sasuke who took it.

"Well I don't think you can win that." Sasuke pointed to a ring tossing game. Itachi grabbed Sasuke's hand and led them through the crowd and to the game. Itachi threw a few rings and won the stuffed animal. During their time Sasuke had Itachi play almost all of the festival games, all of which Itachi won.

"Well Sasuke, are you satisfied now?" He asked as he held the bagged fish in his hands. "Hmmm..." Sasuke started looking around the area to see if there was something that Itachi could lose in. He smiled when he saw a stand on the right side of the festival.

"Nii-san, that game over there." Itachi followed his little brother's pointing finger to a weasel hitting game. The older Uchiha shrugged and went over to the stand with Sasuke following behind him.

"Hello sir, would you like to try your luck at whack the weasel?" The stand owner asked. Itachi nodded and the owner handed the Uchiha a mallet. A moment later, cute soft looking fake weasels began to pop out of the machine.

One weasel popped out, Itachi raised his mallet then slammed down...the weasel went back down before Itachi could hit it. Behind him he could hear Sasuke laughing and Itachi tried again, he raised the mallet and slammed down, once again he missed.

Itachi looked up at the owner who just shrugged at him. He tried a third time and missed again._ Okay that's it._ The Uchiha started to get serious and began slamming down on all the weasels that popped up, let's just say it went like this..._miss miss miss miss miss miss _and _miss_. By now, Sasuke was laughing up a storm at the sight of Itachi, a great and gifted ninja of the Uchiha clan, not being able to hit a simple fake weasel!

The timer ran out soon with 0 points as Itachi's score. "I'm sorry sir, better luck next time. I'm going to need-"

Itachi slammed some money on the stand. "Give me another try." He said angrily. The owner sensed the evil aura and quickly turned the game back on. The weasels began dancing around the board and Itachi started slamming the mallet down...history repeated it's self. _Miss miss miss miss miss_ and _miss. _The game ended a few missed hits later with Itachi's score still at 0.

The older Uchiha began glaring at the owner of the game and the game itself. "Another try." He said again as he slapped more money onto the counter. Sasuke looked concerned for his brother. A lot of people didn't know this because Itachi did amazingly good in everything he tried, but he was a very competitive person and wouldn't stop something until he won...or killed someone trying.

"Um...nii-san, shouldn't we return to mother and father?" The young raven asked, he legs becoming tired from standing to long. "Hold on Sasuke, just let me kill this weasel. I'll be done in no time."

A few seconds later - 0 points

A few minutes later - 0 points

10 minutes later - 0 points

30 minutes later - 0 points

1 hour - Well they didn't get to an hour because Itachi used all of his (and Sasuke's) money that they brought along with them.

Itachi began to twitch, how the hell did an hour almost past and he wasn't able to whack not one damn weasel?.!

"Itachi! Sasuke!" Mikoto called as she made her way to her sons. She bent down and gave Sasuke a kiss before taking the things out of the boy's hands. "So what have you two been doing?" Sasuke began to chuckle. "Watching Itachi lose to himself." He said as that chuckle turned into a laugh. Itachi tightened his fists. This game made a fool of him and now it was going to pay dearly.

"Mother can I have some more money?" He asked Mikoto. The purple haired mother shook her head. "Sorry Itachi, it's getting late and we should be getting home now." Mikoto began to move towards the exit of the festival and gave the signal for her sons to follow her.

As they walked, Sasuke noticed that his brother was walking slowly behind them and went back toward him. Sasuke tugged on his shirt and Itachi looked down at him. "Hey Itachi, I have the perfect nickname to give you."

"And what might that be little brother?"

"Weasel." A vain became faintly visible on the older's head. "And why is that?"

"Because not only does your name mean weasel but every time someone says it, you'll be reminded of this moment until you defeat the weasel. Think of it as a challenge." Sasuke ran up to walk with his mother.

Itachi sighed and placed his hands in his pockets. "Great...damn weasels."

**End Flashback **

The members, after hearing the story, waited a moment before bursting out in laughter. Even Kakuzu could be heard trying to hold in his laughter and failing. "Tsukuyomi!" Itachi used his jutsu on Tobi for laughing but forgot that the man was masked so it had no effect.

_Squeak squeak squeak_

Everyone became quiet as they listened to he strange sound.

_Squeak squeak squeak_

Everyone looked at Itachi whose eyes were staring at something with annoyance.

_Squeak squeak squeak_

They turned to see what Itachi was staring at and found a small brown weasel looking at Itachi in the middle of the hideout. The members turned their heads between Itachi and the weasel, feeling like they were in some kind of western movie.

The Uchiha stood up from his position on the couch and closed his eyes. "Amaterasu!" He said as he quickly opened his eyes again, the black flames appearing quickly and making it's way over to it's victim - the weasel.

The small animal noticed the danger headed towards it and began to run away, the flames following every twist and turn it made. "Yes, finally I will kill a weasel and rid this idiotic nickname of mine!"

The flames was about to touch the weasel when said animal ran through a small - but big enough for a weasel to fit through - hole in the rock wall of the hideout, it's target now becoming the wall as it went up in black flames. Everyone watched as part of their hideout began burning away, in the distance and behind the flames, Itachi watched as his weasel target ran away and disappeared behind a hill.

The members turned back to Itachi who stared in the direction the weasel went in with anger and annoyance in his eyes. "Say a word and I will kill you." He started to walk away from the others without saying a word himself. "I fucking hate weasels." He mumbled before he disappeared and black ravens began flying away.

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1) Kingyo Sukui - It's the name of those famous Japanese festival fish catching games. You use a small net (called a poi) to scoop up the fish (they also use others things like small balls). You have to be careful and quick because the net can break real easily but as long as it's not completely broken, you're still able to play

I'll be writing stories of the other members of Akatsuki and hopefully think of some things for my story as I do. Hope you enjoyed Itachi's story =D


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